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Buying your first sex toy can be a daunting process –  trust me, I remember it like it was yesterday. I love the sex toy market now for the same reason it used to terrify me back then. There are so many options! The thing is, though, despite always feeling like I didn’t have enough information to make the right choice, I still had a really fun time. It felt exciting and sexy.

I want you to have the fun without the worry so I’m going to tell you everything I wish I had known before I bought my first sex toy. If you can, try and let that anxiety go and remember you’re on board for a really fun ride. Here goes:

Think About What You Want From The Toy

The best way of doing this is to have a good old practice round. Forget about sex toys for half an hour, have a play with yourself and pay attention to what you’re doing with your hands. Where do you like to be stimulated? If you find you’re spending lots of time on and around your clit, you’re probably looking for something more like The Bullet. This is a simple clit stimulator with a few different speeds and vibration patterns that will give you a chance to start slowly and build your way up through the settings. It’s a sex toy staple and a great way to get started. If you’re getting most of your pleasure from inside the body, maybe something like The Classic is more up your street. It has the same vibration functions as The Bullet, but it goes inside your body and concentrates them on your G Spot.

Start Small And Simple

Don’t go straight for the biggest toy around, start with something simple. Launching straight in with a toy that would make even the most seasoned connoisseur balk, is a recipe for disaster. If you are overambitious though and don’t get on with the toy you choose, don’t panic and give up on sex toys forever. Just take a step back and find something a bit more up your street.

Read The Reviews

This is possibly the best piece of advice I can give you! Not only is it fun (people can be quite creative) it’s also the best way of finding out more about the experience of using a sex toy. It will give you clues as to who’s buying this particular toy, and maybe some hints as to how you can get the most out of it, too! I can’t count the number of times I’ve ordered a sex toy thinking it was small when it was actually huge or vice versa, or really overestimated the strength of the vibrations. This is your best bet for avoiding those disappointments. I can promise after this you’ll be dying to get started.

Ask Around – The More Conversations You Have, The Better

If you’re one of those people who tells their friends everything then you might have already had this conversation multiple times. If you’re the kind of person who is a bit more private about these things, consider asking one or two people you trust about their first experiences buying sex toys. They might have something they want to recommend or something they’re adamant you should avoid. Either way, it’s a fab idea to get a second opinion.

If you just can’t quite psych yourself up to ask around, how about going online? Forums like Quora or the Student Room might provide you with some totally honest answers to your questions. As a rule, though, I think it’s great to be able to talk to the people around you about your sexuality so if you can put those anxieties aside and take the plunge you won’t regret it.

Splash Out On Some Lube

Whatever sex toy you choose, I can promise you-you’ll have a smoother first experience if you add some lube to your shopping basket. No one wants to buy a sexy-looking toy only to find that it’s uncomfortable or doesn’t quite slide in like you’d hoped. If this is the case, it might just be a case of needing a bit of lube to ease the process along. It’s always best to use a water-based lube as silicone-based lube could damage the surface of your brand spanking new toy.

Remember It’s Your First Sex Toy, Not Your Last!

Your first sex toy is like your first relationship – it’s there for you to learn from! If it doesn’t do it for you, try and understand why then buy another one that does the trick a bit better. You’re not committing to this sex toy for life. If you decide to get rid of your first sex toy and try again there are loads of options for recycling it. Lots of sex toy shops have recycling bins or check your council website for electrical recycling information.

Good luck and happy shopping!

Written by: Jess Bolton

Jess Bolton is a writer and self-proclaimed sex toy enthusiast on a mission to demystify good sex. Her method? Talking detail about the ins and outs of sex and sexuality, without shying away from the icky stuff. When she’s not making her mum cringe you’ll find her munching hash browns or flying her drone in Victoria park.
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