Summer’s over but if the prospect of spending less time basking in the sun and more time inside is bumming you out, you’re looking at it the wrong way. More time indoors means more time to get cosy and expand your sexual horizons. Whether you’re getting down with a partner or putting on a one-man show there are tonnes of ways you can spice up your sex life and ride out the long winter months one orgasm at a time!
1.Rent a hotel room
If you’re looking to shake things up, renting a hotel room can be the perfect way to do it. Getting out of your home and into a space where you don’t have to worry about taking the bins out or making a mess gives you the headspace to dedicate some serious time to your pleasure. On top of that, when is renting a hotel room ever not fun?! Pack a suitcase and fill it with your favourite toys, underwear, and a good (and sexy?) book. If you pick yourself up some water resistant sex toys you can even spend a long slippery evening in a bubble bath.
2. Create a sex list with your partner
If you’re keen to find out what your partner wants to try but you’re finding it hard to have a conversation about it, a website like Mojoupgrade.com is the perfect way to do it. It gives you a list of sex acts ranging from the mildly kinky (use vibrators during sex) to the really wild (brown showers, anyone?) and asks you if you’d like to try it. You only get to see each other’s answer to a question if you both click “yes”, so if you’re not ready to share your kinkiest fantasies with your partner yet Mojo Upgrade will take them to the grave.
3. Read some erotic literature
What if I told you-you didn’t have to choose between snuggling up with a book this evening and popping in a butt plug and getting intimate with your showerhead? Erotic literature is the intersection between two perfect nights in and it’s seriously overlooked. If you’re not sure where to start, there’s loads of free erotic literature online for you to sink your teeth into. Take it up a notch by reading it on your commute home so you’re raring to go by the time you get through the front door. If you’re a couple, share the experience and the excitement by taking it in turns to read to one another.
4. Watch a kinky video
If you’re more of a visual person and erotic literature just isn’t quite churning your butter, what about some porn? Instead of sticking to your comfort zone, try and find something slightly more adventurous than what you usually get off to. If you’re in a long distance relationship porn can be an especially great way to add some heat to your sex life. Pick a video and watch it together while you’re on the phone, on skype, or texting each other your thoughts.
PSA: Always pay for your porn and try and find something body and sex-positive that will leave you feeling good in your soul as well as in your pants. Check out this Cosmo article about how to know when you’re watching ethical porn.
5. Go shopping for toys
Whether you’re stuck in a sexual rut or the battery has finally gone dead in your ten-year-old vibrator, shopping for sex toys is always a winner. New and shiny sex toys are irresistible and you won’t be able to stop yourself from taking them for a test drive or two. Think about coming out of your comfort zone a bit, too – if you’ve been using The Bullet, how about trying out The Wand for some extra zing? Or if you’re all about The Classic, take it further with The G Spot. If your relationship needs some spicing up to make the shopping into a joint venture. It will get the conversation flowing about new things to try, and you can even look to your sex list for inspiration.
6. Get sexty
For goodness’ sake get sexting, people, and sext as if your life depends on it! If you and your partner are finding it awkward maybe wait until you’re not going to see each other for a few days. It’ll give you the chance to get into the swing of it without worrying that you’re going to bump into each other and once the orgasms are flowing you’ll forget you ever wanted to cringe. You could even try involving a toy (or two) – ask your partner to tell you what to do with it and it’ll be like they’re in the room with you, but maybe even better.
7. Explore your bum
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: stigma around bum fun is the biggest tragedy ever to befall us. Bum sex is brilliant and it’s anyone’s to try – if you’re one of those people who thinks of bum sex as being reserved for couples you are much mistaken. If you’re looking to spice up a wank try inserting a finger or a small sex toy (try our The Bullet for starters) into your anus while you’re at it. The rules are: use lots of lube, keep your toy clean, and don’t put anything in your vagina straight after it’s been in your bum. If you’re a couple and you’re sharing toys putting a condom on them will keep you safe from STIs, just don’t forget to use a new condom when you change over.
8. Involve other people
Involving other people might sound alarming but it doesn’t have to be. If you’ve always been interested in what it would feel like to bring someone else into your sex life but you’re balking at the prospect of a full-on orgy, fear not! What about inviting someone else to watch you and your partner have sex? If having them in the room with you still feels like too much, you could start by sending them a video or setting up a live stream. If that gets your juices flowing maybe it’s time to think about a threesome.
Written by: Jess Bolton